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Two decades after the publication of They Don't Get It, Do They?, much less has changed for women seeking equal opportunity and pay at work than they ever expected. In this book, Kathleen Kelley Reardon Ph.D., the author of The Secret Handshake, It's All Politics and Comebacks at Work, turns her extraordinary observational skills toward obstacles to women's advancement. Author of such Harvard Business Review articles as "The Memo Every Woman Keeps in Her Desk" and "Courage as a Skill," Reardon fills her book with scores of real-life examples. They Don't Get It, Do They? shows how to identify, understand and overcome the hidden subtexts of business conversations. Men and women speak different languages at work but different shouldn't mean better or worse, Reardon argues. Yet history shows that those distinctions are made every day in organizations around the world, where women continue to be poorly represented at the top and significantly underpaid in most fields and at nearly every level. Through hundreds of interviews and her own extensive experience in business, Reardon has produced an insightful examination of the gender communication rift. She explores how differing perceptions -- as well as realistic concerns that men have of women taking their jobs -- perpetuate a chasm between the sexes. Following Reardon's empowering advice, women can learn to develop a language that bridges the divide without requiring that they mimic men or sacrifice the benefits of their personal styles. Communication, it turns out, is the hard stuff of business and Kathleen Kelley Reardon's books are at the forefront of exploring the complexities so many of us don't notice. This is your chance to learn why we're all at least 75% responsible for the way we're treated at work and what that means for women in terms of turning things around for the better.
- Sales Rank: #4203719 in Books
- Published on: 1995-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: .83" h x 6.38" w x 9.56" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 200 pages
From Publishers Weekly
Businesswomen who considered Deborah Tannen's You Just Don't Understand enlightening will find this volume about the problems of intergender communication on the job of special interest. Reardon, associate professor of management and organization at the Univ. of Southern California, here confronts the barrier to job promotion known as the "glass ceiling." Although she writes primarily for women, male executives with an open mind will profit from her advice as well. Reardon's point of departure is what she calls dysfunctional communications patterns, often in evidence when female executives headed for the top find themselves ignored, dismissed or patronized. She also points out how to overcome stereotypes that are used against women and analyzes power and its uses, arguing that "skill in communications is transportable power." Further, she applauds women executives who devote time to mentoring and networking. She offers caveats as well: a woman must never get the reputation of being a feminist, and women in companies still run by male neanderthals should leave, for their situation is hopeless.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
Reardon (Persuasion in Practice, Ohio Univ. Pr., 1991. 2d ed.) asks why women still occupy less than five percent of the top management positions when women constitute 44 percent of the managerial workforce, a critical mass. She concludes that men and women do not "speak the same language." Reardon evokes the 75 percent rule: "Each of us is at least 75 percent responsible for how people treat us." Each chapter explores ways for women to communicate more effectively with men in the workplace. Key to better worksite communication is identifying and overcoming dysfunctional communication patterns (DCPs). Reardon also advocates using a situational leadership style and includes a Leadership Style Inventory. There is much to consider here. A worthy addition to academic, business, and communication collections.
-?Nancy Myers, Univ. of South Dakota Lib., Vermillion
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
Praise for They Don't Get It, Do They?"This book comes just in time -- a superb blueprint for real communication between the sexes at work. Kathleen Reardon has forged a path through backlash, downsizing and economic frustration."-- Betty Friedan, author of The Feminine Mystique
"The definitive book on communication between men and women in the workplace and the best business book I've read in years!"-- Alison May, consultant for socially responsible companies and startups in SF Bay Area, and past CEO of Patagonia and of RedEnvelope.
"Working women who have looked with resentment through the glass ceiling for decades will find no solace in Kathleen Reardon's new book. Women make up 44% of managerial/professional employees, yet still hold fewer than 5% of senior management positions...Discrimination and sexism alone do not account for this power imbalance...the larger problem lies with the enduring nature of dysfunctional communication patterns. They Don't Get It, Do They? isn't about bashing men for boorish behavior. Instead, it offers alternatives for women that can put them back in control."
--The Los Angeles Times
"What Reardon offers is a compendium of advice on challenging wisely. Women will have to learn to interpret male language, decode hidden messages, filter out guff, analyze power. Reardon is particularly astute about the sore subject of emotions. "--The Irish Times
Acclaim for Kathleen Kelley Reardon's The Secret Handshake:
"I read a little bit and I was hooked...full of practical advice, illustrated by the kinds of point-making stories that they tell in business schools...Most of her strategies emphasize constructive engagement. I liked The Secret Handshake so much I gave a copy to my daughter."
--Boston Globe
"A gold mine of strategy and information...shows readers how they, too, can place themselves in the inner circle... a fascinating book -- that helps shine a light on the sometimes murky world of corporate politics."
--Dallas Morning News
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Keep an open mind....
By Holly A. Dobbins
It never ceases to amaze me how people who are in fairly privileged positions in life react so vehemently and violently to the least criticism of the social order from which they and their parents before them have benefitted. I believe that Dr. Deborah Tannen's "You Just Don't Understand, Men and Women in Conversation" is a much better book that explains more objectively and empirically the cultural/cognitive differences between men and women; yet still I do not think this work should just be dismissed.
While I do not believe it is useful for anyone to accept the role of victim and take on the helplessness implied in such a label, I also am tired of men who cannot tolerate being asked for once in their lives to seriously examine the perspectives and experiences of women. (I am also tired of women who have so completely bought into a corporate and public policy culture of hierarchical competition that they dismiss the realities of a diversity of perspectives along with their potential advantages.)
As a negotiator, I would be a complete idiot to exclude the worldviews, experiences and cognitive processes of any particular group of people that I was either representing or with whom I was negotiating. Life experience shapes leadership and world views. Any successful negotiation concerning either individuals or communities and nations must necessarily include input from both men and women (or critical concerns/needs get left out and what is agreed upon becomes untenable in actual practice).
My advice: stop reacting with such violent emotion when being asked to expand your understanding of human beings, and accept that different people have had different life experiences and therefore hold different world views than you do. Knowledge is empowerment, not just for the person you are being asked to empathize with, but for yourself. If you are truly critical of this work, then seek out alternative voices on the same topic -- the true differences in life experience and cognitive processes that can be influenced by gender; such books as Deborah Tannen's. Fry and others, while excellent sources for negotiation in general, do not even touch upon these areas.
We may be inclined to prefer objectivity, but most of this world in reality is influenced more often by passions. Only in understanding the origin of those passions can we hope to achieve fair and successful outcomes.
2 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
It's really not that bad (in the workplace)
By A Customer
I haven't read gender-related titles in the past, and was having some difficulty at work so thought I would give it a try. I certainly hope there are better texts out there....
I've worked in male dominated companies for over a decade and am currently the only female manager on my boss's staff of twelve. Although there are issues, they are not nearly as blatant and nearly as bad as Dr. Reardon professes. Although I am sure that the boys club still does exist, I read the book wondering if this wasn't just a rehashing off old wounds. We tend to frequently look externally for reasons why we are not advancing or are having difficulties in the work place - easily identifiable reasons why such as gender - even if they are not the root cause.
That said, the book does have some very good points, which would apply both to males and females. I have learned some techniques that I will use on the job and will become even more assertive in identifying and letting my coworkers know when I feel they are undermining my credibility and leadership.
3 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
The most blatant piece of feminist trash available today.
By A Customer
I was forced to read this as a required text in a Negotiation & Persuasion class in the MBA program at USC, where Dr. Reardon teaches. I and many others in the class were so infuriated by the relentless "I am a victim because I am female" propaganda throughout the entirety of the book that we all returned the text to the bookstore upon finishing it because we could not stand the thought of Dr. Reardon making a dime off of sales to us. The professor that taught the class was so embarrassed by having to assign the text (it was required, oddly enough, by the head of the department who by mere coincidence, I'm sure, happened to be Dr. Reardon), that she sheepishly cut off discussion of the text after only a few minutes. The only victims we were able to find were students who were hoodwinked into paying $1900 to learn negotiation skills but in reality were held captive to the rantings of Dr. Reardon's feminist soapbox. If you are looking to waste your time trying to find out all the ways that men are EVIL and should be eradicated from the workplace, this is your bible. If, however, you are looking for inspiration on how to make your organization a great one for all employees, male and female, I'd look elsewhere, like Warren Bennis' Organizing Genius or the Jan Carlzen's classic Moments of Truth.
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